A girl wants 23 men to fornicate her for her 23rd birthday. (UPDATE)

"RotaryLover" (rotarylover) 02/19/2014 at 16:48 • Filed to: wayyyyy off topic

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It was a scam. She trolled Quebec haahhahaha. She's awesome! !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! Basicly her video shows at the end that all the guys that wanted to participate will have a date with their hand tonight instead. This event racked up over 2000 guys and girls that wanted to participate and it's all cancelled. Dammit, I was looking forward for that breakdown.

Her pornstar name is Heidi Van-Horny. She's from my town, is a debuting pornstar and wants to do all this the 20th of February, which is my birthday too. People keep saying that she lost her mind and insult her calling her "the cock garage" or saying "poor last guy in the event". Yes event, because she created an event on FB which racked up over 500 guys that are interested to take part of that experiment in my area. She got two interviews on tv (both in french) and said this "I'm tired of being flirted by non good looking guys that fucks like shit for a one night. I might as well do my fantasy, get 23 men for my 23th birthday, get fucked, have some backpain the next morning and say myself that I've done it! Besides...my career as a pornstar wont last long." The selected guys will be interviewed before they take the final 23s. I joined for the lulz...she is doing it during my birthday after all. So there you go...why did I post this on OPPO?....Quite frankly I don't know.

XJDano > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 19:51

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Good luck on your entry.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 19:54

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Good luck. Hopefully you're first in line.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > XJDano 01/22/2014 at 19:55

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Hopefully the pullout is clean too

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 19:56

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This is a corner of the internet that adores well used topless models with a lot of miles on them because they still put a smile on your face. You won't get any judgement here, you just want some internet high fives :P

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 19:57

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Wear protection

RotaryLover > XJDano 01/22/2014 at 19:59

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I'm not serious at all about it. I really have better things to do then show up and fuck a girl and be surrounded by naked guys...

RotaryLover > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/22/2014 at 19:59

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Hahahhaha

N/A POWAAAHH > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:00

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RotaryLover > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/22/2014 at 20:01

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Seriously I expected you guys to be "dont do it man, your dick will fall off" you guys just gave me the opposite lol!

RotaryLover > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 20:02

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I would not even touch her with a pole with a condom!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:05

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I would, but I'm what most people would call desperate and lonely, this is commonly known as "being an engineer."

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:06

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Good luck. This sounds more like going to be 23 guys, several security guards awkwardly surrounding them (presume they are some guys who have nymphomaniac supermodels as their gf) and like gopros all around. like ALL around (edit: or it'll become a hostile situation where a fight breaks out on who goes first and everyone gets tazered....except for her, pissed off as fuck)

Jagvar > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:07

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I imagine the selection process will go something like this.

Takuro Spirit > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:09

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You wanna know how I got these scars?

Edit: Damn Kinja! Was aiming for her sloppy loose beaten battered and chapped pussy.

Idiot Circus Boy > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:11

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So who wants herpes?

RotaryLover > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 20:11

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I know that feel man....the thing is that in these kind of events, people are so horny that they will fight the guy next to them because they don't give space or get the goods for too long. Plus...you risk to lose your boner and be seen on video. They at least will give masks to the guys that are selected.

RotaryLover > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 01/22/2014 at 20:12

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My exact thoughts. I said yes to the event just for laughing. If they do select me however....

RotaryLover > Jagvar 01/22/2014 at 20:15

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Wth is that hahahhaahhahahhaha I gotta see this!

RotaryLover > Takuro Spirit 01/22/2014 at 20:16

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Kinja thought too much about the joker right there lol

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:17

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If it was just one at a time, and it is secluded from the rest, than it wouldn't be so bad. If it was just one big cluster fuck, then NO. Absolutely not.

Jagvar > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:18

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You've never seen History of the World: Part 1? Awesome Mel Brooks movie from '81. Add it to your list!

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:18

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Somebody get her this machine.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:19

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You know damn well what you're getting into (hint - well worn leather) so far be it from us to talk you out of it. We're not your parents :P

RotaryLover > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 20:24

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That's the thing we dont know...the event will last from 6pm to 3am. I guess it can be one at the time.

RotaryLover > Jagvar 01/22/2014 at 20:25

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Already done!

McMike > Jagvar 01/22/2014 at 20:25

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Agreed. This and Blazing Saddles, Top Secret!, and Airplane! are all prerequisites for Oppo.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro 01/22/2014 at 20:26

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Bahahahhahahahaha seems right!

Makoyouidiot > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:26

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Time to warm up the old boomstick, eh? :P

Where have all the lightweights gone? > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:26

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You've never seen History of the World Part I!? Seriously!?

RotaryLover > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/22/2014 at 20:27

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Fine i'll do the decision myself lol

RotaryLover > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/22/2014 at 20:27

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Fine i'll do the decision myself lol

RotaryLover > Makoyouidiot 01/22/2014 at 20:28

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That's my secret, it's always ready. Hahaha

RotaryLover > Where have all the lightweights gone? 01/22/2014 at 20:29

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I never did...I promise I will see it!!!

desertdog5051 > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:30

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Ahhh... what the fuck, why not. You don't live forever. France is is hike from the states. I guess I could find something locally. But she is a looker. Prefer #1 spot, but, Oh well. Now I just need to get a photo to show her what a studly guy I used to be.

Google?

Manuél Ferrari > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:32

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You should start your own FB contest. Look for girls to bone you on your bday.

You probably won't get over 500 girls apply. But hell if you get one that's good enough ;)

RotaryLover > Manuél Ferrari 01/22/2014 at 20:33

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I thought about it...actually why the hell not?

Manuél Ferrari > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:37

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If you're not worried about family members or people you know professionally seeing it and causing trouble for you then do it. There is no downside really!

Maybe a cute girl will think you have a funny sense of humor and agree to at least go on a date with you for your bday.

Actually there are a few ways to spin this since this pornstar is from your town and shares a bday with you. You could create one of a few different kinds of contests as a spoof of her contest.

You could have a contest for just one girl to be picked to go on date with you for your bday. Maybe some pretty girl will think what you did was cute and throw her hat in the ring.

RotaryLover > Manuél Ferrari 01/22/2014 at 20:41

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Taking notes. Keep going.

Manuél Ferrari > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:43

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Haha

Next idea - since it's your bday the girl will take you out to dinner and bring a small present

Manuél Ferrari > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:44

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if you're anywhere near a basketball or hockey team the girl could take you to a game

Alex Murel > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 20:46

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If you don't do it, we'll all be ashamed of you.

Stupidru > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 20:47

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Ohhhh please don't degrade the profession... All you gotta do is stop giving a shit- go talk to girls, and if someone walks away just say "hey at least I gave it a shot"

RotaryLover > Alex Murel 01/22/2014 at 20:49

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Thanks for the pressure, I'll probably will lose my boner lolll

RotaryLover > desertdog5051 01/22/2014 at 20:51

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I think they actually do, face to face interviews hahaha

RotaryLover > Manuél Ferrari 01/22/2014 at 20:54

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Ok I'm gonna think about this soon enough.

Manuél Ferrari > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 21:01

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If you go through with it update us on oppo!

Slave2anMG > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 21:05

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Here's the first one...

RotaryLover > Slave2anMG 01/22/2014 at 21:11

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Hilarious hahahahaha

RotaryLover > Manuél Ferrari 01/22/2014 at 21:12

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I got friends that are great promoters. They could set something up hahahaha....this is gonna be insane.

RotaryLover > Manuél Ferrari 01/22/2014 at 21:12

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I got friends that are great promoters. They could set something up hahahaha....this is gonna be insane.

RacecaR > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 21:16

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Umm...

Manuél Ferrari > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 21:17

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perfect!

RotaryLover > RacecaR 01/22/2014 at 21:18

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Porn scenery. Don't ask questions. lol

RacecaR > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 21:20

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Oh and just FYI, if I was single and childless, I would TOTALLY sign up to bang this chick.

RotaryLover > RacecaR 01/22/2014 at 21:23

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Dammit...I was not going...but if a chance opens up, I guess I could try...

Sinanigans > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 21:45

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OK I'm in. I'll take one for the team, but only if I'm the first guy. Otherwise its just not gonna feel special.

briannutter1 > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 21:51

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Good for her. Not caught up in other peoples ideals.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > RotaryLover 01/22/2014 at 23:38

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Is that a huge stomach bulge...?

RotaryLover > Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura 01/22/2014 at 23:57

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She needs space for all that D.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > RotaryLover 01/23/2014 at 00:07

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Just curious...are you turning 23?

RotaryLover > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 01/23/2014 at 00:27

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Turning 26.

biturboism, the cult > RotaryLover 01/23/2014 at 12:05

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Only if you wear one of these:

with a custom condom of this type:

ThinIce-Koe > RotaryLover 01/23/2014 at 12:31

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Jalops are crazy about cars and their insistence of their preferences(or disdains). Not so much about this sort of thing. For the most part they have more incentive to give you stupid advices for the lulz than not, which I would do too because dammit you're a grown man, be responsible for your own actions. This is just like you going to kotaku and asking for opinions on this matter. LOL

JEM > Stupidru 01/23/2014 at 12:56

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Or grow a beard. Apparently that's what it takes these days.

Did that. Month later. Awesome girlfriend.

Now I'm afraid to shave :-/

Stupidru > JEM 01/23/2014 at 13:01

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I grew a beard and my wife wouldn't come within 5 feet of me for a month

JEM > Stupidru 01/23/2014 at 13:03

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Lol, sorry dude. So funny how there's two drastic camps of opinion on that.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > RotaryLover 01/23/2014 at 14:08

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Ok I don't think anyone has said it and I have a feeling your native language is French not English.

23rd, not 23th.

Was killing me, I'm sorry I'm totally a buzz killington grammar a-hole for this. It had to be said though.

RotaryLover > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 01/23/2014 at 14:13

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Yup my native language is indeed french. I'll correct it right away!

Stupidru > JEM 01/23/2014 at 14:15

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Her exact words, "You look a lot better with it, but I just can't get near you. It's nasty"

Me: "Whatever woman. Make me a sammich!"

thebigbossyboss > JEM 01/31/2014 at 07:19

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I grew a beard, and it took 6 years till I got an awesome girlfriend. Hahaha.

I am never shaving. They will put me in the ground with my goatee, I have had it 8 years now.

scallywagnyc > RotaryLover 02/01/2014 at 13:34

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And this is the part I love: Producer Andre Delaseine has told that the company will protect Heidi’s safety, insisting that it’s Heidi who will make the choice.“This is not a gang bang that we’re doing, it’s Heidi who will make the choice,” he said.

Raise your hands if you think this is Heidi's choice or the manipulative steering of an opportunist?

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2014/01/heidi-…

banjo cat ghost of oppo past > Takuro Spirit 02/19/2014 at 16:57

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Have you heard Oswald's latest bone mole?

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover 02/19/2014 at 17:19

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It was cancelled? Oh, darn it. * sighs, throws away my steel underwear prototype *

Frosted > RotaryLover 02/19/2014 at 17:38

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Well she's certainly gotten her internet fame now :P

BJ > RotaryLover 02/19/2014 at 17:41

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You say, "she's from my town" without mentioning which town that is. Knowing you're a Quebecker, I figure I'll Google it. Her twitter feed is very nsfw. And it took some digging to get the answer (lots of "news" generated by this fake b-day announcement) - she's from Ormstown (otherwise know as, "Où?"). I dunno what I'm gonna say when my wife sees the browser history for this...

Oh, wait, I'll just say, "it was something I saw on Oppo." Eyes will roll. She will disapprove of you all slightly more than she does already.

BJ > Supreme Kiwi Zorro 02/19/2014 at 17:43

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Or maybe this?

BJ > BJ 02/19/2014 at 17:47

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"Nick, I've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. I even talked to the U.N. Ambassador. It's no use, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm."

RotaryLover > Frosted 02/19/2014 at 17:56

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Definitely, she's the troll pornstar now. Hahaha

RotaryLover > BJ 02/19/2014 at 17:59

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Just say that she trolled a whole province (which is true) and that you had to check info on her.

Lokki > RotaryLover 02/19/2014 at 20:32

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Why is it that a lot of things that seem pretty funny at the time don't read as well in your obituary?